I am done.

I am done. I cant believe it. One sem is over. I never thought i would be able to get stuff done, finish my assignnments in time. But then thank god i finished everyything onn time. I don't have much expectations with the grades part, will leave that for later.

some american lingo for you guyys..

something very good = awesome , its kick ass stuff
something done very cleverly = neat , sweet
bye = later
my teacher scolded me = my prof fired my ass
Everybody was shouting at me = my ass was under fire
alright= awrite
biscuits = cookies
Thanks very much = i really appreciate it
cycle= bike
car dicky = trunk
cola = soda
no = hell no
petrol=gas
ok thats it for now...later !!!!

music thanksgiving & more

I remember studying in school about thanksgiving, you know how a typical American family sits around the table, says a prayer and eats the turkey. But i never thought that at somepoint in my life i would also be a part of the thanksgiving celebration. My friend invited me over to his grandmom's place to celebrate thanksgiving. I agreed to go and decided to spend a day with an american family.
His Grandmom lived in a small town called Casey, three hours away from where i live. There were hardly any houses there and it looked as if most of the people who lived there owned large acres of land and did a lot of farming. His Grandma's house was big and spacious with the most amazing chandeliers i had ever seen. Her house was solid man. Pure opulence. One by one everybody arrived and i was introduced to my friend's family members. Initially i was finding it very odd to be there but then slowly slowly i got accustomed to the place and surroundings. The problem was that there are lot of customs which had to be followed and i did not know any of them
I was gettting scared that i might end up doing some thing really stupid.

It was 12 noon and was time for the big lunch. The table was set, the candles were lit and the turkey was out along with a dozen of other dishes. All of us held hands and somebody said the prayer. It was the first time i had acually done something like that. The Lunch included mashed potatoes ( prepared in the same manner as most bongs prepare it. ) The mashed potatoes were to be had with hot noodles on top of them. Then there was beans, veg salad, turkey , ham and lot of other things most of which i did not understand .
I just felt as if i was spending time with my family. I felt very homesick and remembered our get togethers back home. Lunch was done and it was time for desserts. There were whole lot of pie's and custards to eat. All of us were full but we were forced to eat by his grandma who after every hour would ask us to eat something or the other.
My friend's little cousin joseph took us around the place. Even though it was freezing outside we decided to go out. we went exploring the three big garages my friend's grandmom owned.It was filled with farm equipment, tractors and a whole lot of other crazy stuff. One of them also had a big truck. So there we were like small kids hopping from one garage to another checking out the antique stuff which my friend's grandfather had collected. It was nice and it was good.

oh ji !!!!

Voice from inside .....

Aye mere Khuda kuch karo abhi

mere unoh ka gussa kam karo jaldi

karte hain bohoth pyaar unko

bolo na ji kaise manaye tumko

kuch kaam kar nahin paa rahen hain

bas subah shaam tumko yaad karte rehthey hain

Aur ek ghante mein online aaoge tum

This " Hum " is nobody without you " Tum"

I want back the jodi of " Hum Tum"

I understand this shayari looks very silly

But baby this bunty is missing his Bubly

Aur kitne din tak aise tadpenge

Kuch karo khuda varna yahan ke

campus lake mein doob jayenge

Marna nahin chahthey hum

par nahin hain mujhmein aur dum ....

My first Tornado warning

My university is one of the very few universities in US to have a TV station and a radio station attached to it.I work as a student worker in the radio station which is in the basement of our building.


I mostly do archiving work which is basically at nights or sometimes i do reporting if i get time duing the day. It was yet another boring monday night and i was recording some stories onto a cd. At around 10.15 pm a alarm goes on, really loud.Being pretty much new to the place i didn't know what was happening, so i carried on with my work. Then after 10 min ( this thing was really loud i had to do something ) i came out of the room and checked for this really loud sound. I saw a small box something like a radio which kept saying warning tornado warning..." i was like what Tornado Wow !!! this is going to be fun. There was nobody around and i did not know what to do. I went out to the rooms outside and knocked the doors checking for people. One lady was still in her office and she came with me to check what was happening. I told her that this alarm has started saying severe weather for the Carbondale ( this is the place where i stay ) and other surrounding areas. She went upstairs checked with the TV station guys if they had recieved any warning. She came down and told me that the weather conditions had been such that there are chances of a tornado striking this city.
I had access to the TV news room which has all the equipment and the cameras. I told myself man this is the time, if a tornado hits take the camera and go out. But then luckily or unluckily nothing much happened. Everybody was very calm and said that this sort of alerts are quite commmon but is very rare for a Tornado to actually hit this city. I finished my work and went back home. The lady told me that where ever you are if you hear a sound as if a train is approaching just run to the basement of the building. I was awake all night....i waited ...for it to come but it never came. It rained heavily with strong winds and the severe weather continued till the next day. These rains changed the temprature. From hot days we are going to subzero tempratures. The winter has arrived.

Cornflakes Story...

Yes .. I had cornflakes both the time. Yesterday night i came back home from the lab at around 3.15. Was feeling hungry so i thought why not have some cornflakes. I got up in the morning did some work went back to sleep again. I was supposed to go to the department but i did not have the energy so i went back to sleep. I got up at 1.45. Wanted to eat something but then i realised that i had only 15 min left for class, so i ran for class. Finished with class then went to the radio station to work. By the time i finished it was 5.30. I was hungry i thought chalo bhai lunch kar lete hain par karen toh kya karen...? dopahar mein tho hum log ke ghar koi khana nahin bantha. so what is the next best option ..? you are right it was cornflakes.
Thankfully for dinner its not cornflakes as i made some good food today. I still haven't eaten though. Have to go back home and eat it. I am back at the radio station to do some archiving of stories onto a cd. So this is it my cornflakes story. A story i hope will end very soon....

By the way we have an off tomorrow. Its Veteran's day. It seems after a long time our university has decided to give an off.

what do you think of this letter...?

I am attaching a copy of a letter sent by my cousin in our family's yahoo group. Just wanted to ask you all, what do you think...?



"Hi !!!

Idd Mubarak to you, all at home and everyone in this
group.

Yes am happy with my new job. Though I do not get to
earn as much as I could have in the US or in Gulf, I
like what I am doing at work and also am having a
great time with bro, mom and dad and all my pals in
bangalore.

Recently, another roomate of mine came back to India
after working in the US for a bit and getting a H1. He
got into Intel here in Bangalore and is staying with
his parents - who are happy to have him back and plan
to get him married real soon.

Out of all the roomies I have had in the US, more than
half of them are back in india.

Rest everything is fine...

Regards and MTV enjoy...

J "

its monday !@#@$%#

Its monday and the rat race has begun.Assignments deadlines classes projects oh stop it . I have a 3 hour class in the evening, need to edit the nature music video and keep it ready by tueday 2 pm. Think a project idea for my final documentary for wednesday evening...the list is endless...its too too much...

festival time

Eid Mubarak....Happy diwali ...little late but thats ok...three assignments were due this week and it was crazy. Its only now that i am getting some time when i dont have to think of any deadlines ( few days only though...)

I did not have any feeling of diwali here. I missed the diwali night organised by the indian families. There were no tickets ( some dumb problem you could say..) Some of the houses where girls live had lighted candles on the door step. Few drunk indian guys buys bursted a few crackers and shouted happy diwali at like 3 in the night. Bas apart from this it was just another day.

Ramzaan was nice. we went to the mosque for our prayer clicked a few pictures it was good.Felt like haan bhai we are also celebrating something.But then its not like being in india when you come back home from prayer, shona has cooked lovely sheer kurma for you ..hmmm...The other sad part here was that i had to attend class that day . It was so damn boring and of course irritating. In the night one of the guys gave us a party. he cooked delicious chicken which we hogged like mad. all of us were like ghar ki yaad aa gayi bhai and stuff like that. If not events like these living in here would be impossible. This is what keeps us going....the indian touch ..being with indians ....i hate staying in the dept...i just wait to come back to the apartment where i stay....


Ramzaan is done and we have to start worrying about cooking again..Its back to turns of who is going to cook....its back to cornflakes in the morning and concept of no lunch straight dinner thing...hmmm...

shona cooks well.....i enjoy her food .....w r u...???

I am in love with

I am in love with ...no not the woman in the picture but with the fact that i am actually doing the edits myself . I am learning Final Cut pro and its easier than avid. I can do more than rough edit now with dissolves and other effects. I was experimenting with a lot of things in final cut like picture movement and other things. I actually have to submit a 7 min piece on Mae west ( yeah ..its her pic ) . I have till now shyed away from editing, i was thinking may be i wont be able to do it but now i am feeling confident about it. Need to practice more though...

Today shona was saying that CNN has joined hands with IBN..thats like great news...i wonder how the other channels might be reacting to this news...have the newspapers covered it....Lot of stuff happening in India...CNN is the only channel which can be compared to channels in india. Its the only channel that to an extent is not biased like the other channels. the local channels here are impossible...they are something like our very own TV channel of " amma " .....

what is life

what is life all about...? Is it just about crossing hurdles...? everytime you cross an hurdle or finish solving a major problem in life, something bigger comes up. Are we all taking part in a " hurdles race " which has no finish. Everytime we cross one , the other one comes up. There is no time even to pause for a second. Is this what life is all about...?

Based on a true life story

Arz kiya hai...

ho gaye hain "ji" tumpe khatarnaak tarike se fida

hona chahthey hain tumse shadishuda

par meri "mom" ko pasanad nahin hain yeh meri ada

unki yeh ada ko badal de...

kuch kar..... aye mera khuda ......aye mere khuda


wah !!! wah !!!......yeh wah nahin sachayi hain

dissapointed

I am totally disappointed with how the katrina 's piece has come...its not upto the mark...its not what i expected. Had so much expectations out of it and it flopped totally...sad..really sad

after a long time...

After a really long time had good desi indian khana. Last saturday we had a Ifthaar party hosted by somebody here. The hosts were from Pakistan so we were expecting desi food. let me explain you the system here first. everyday evening somebody or the other would get food to the masjid for ifthaar . For most part of the time its arabian food. We have rice and chicken.hmm chicken ...iss ke baare mein jitna kam kaha jaye uthna acha. most of the time its without any spices or salt or mirchi. i mean we are thankful that we get nv food but then u know after a point of time its get very difficult for the desis to eat it everyday.

This saturday was different, we had ifthaar a party . Big turn out at the civic centre where the dinner took place. now let me describe the menu we had podina ki chutney , raitha ( not like the one which " my some one" makes ...what she makes is out of the world ) we had Vegetable Biriyani, fried chicken , chicken gravy ( made in typical indian punjabi style and it tasted awesome..) we also had mutton fry which not was so good but then manageable and butter nans. All of us filled the plates like mad. fill your plate as much as you can the first time because yahan ki public ka koi bharosa nahin kab khana khatam ho jayega we will not know. sab pe plates were like overflowing but then ek kahawath hain " insaan dil bhare tak khana apne plate mein daaltha hai par paet bhare tak hie kha saktha hain " . We stuffed as much as we could and we enjoyed the food. There was a small table in between the ladies side n the gents side which had only cups n saucers and no food. abhi sab log intezaar mein hain mitha aayega ki nahin aayega and mitha finally came. We had choclate cake and a fruit cake along with ras malai , we had another feast. May god bless the people who organised the dinner and may they organise ifthaar parties like these more regularly.

hey

hey hey !!! finally i have uploaded a picture on my blog. It was easier than i thought. that picture was taken by friend moses in new orleans. Its me and my friend drew standing in front of the super dome in new orleans. Super dome....hmm....lot of bad things happened inside the super dome when people were there inside . So we wanted to go there and check . We were not allowed inside so took some shots of it from outside. This picture was supposed to come in our piece but then we decided not to have our pictures in the segment. We are actually still making some changes to the piece. We were supposed to turn in show at the tv station today but then we requested for some more time to make some final changes to our katrina piece. We have lot of expectations from this one but then all of us are scared that it wont live upto it. Actually the three of us have three different ideas as to how the segment should be and there lies the whole problem. But now since we dont have time to change or edit so we have left it to one guy to change it the way or polish the way he wants. so thats going on.....

And i want to write about some one....kya batayen uss some one ke baare mein. " dil ke gehrahiyon mein koi bas gaye.." was this a song did i just write...what ever but then some one some one some one...i need to talk to you....kya some one tum bhi na....saath samundaar paar karke tho aagaye par nahin patha tha ki tumko ithna zyada zyada miss karenge....oh some one...more about the some one later..

still working...

Still working on the Katrina story...its taking a really long time. ....i have been working on this from past five days , five nights not days i should say. working all night and sleeping at 6 in the morning , its been really hectic this week. We had actually finished the edit but then we decided to change it as there were lot of interviews and less of visuals. hopefully should come out as an amazing piece.Going to new orleans was one awesome experience about which i will write in a few days...
Just spoke to my baby now and was great...!!!! She has it in her to bring back the smile on my face and lift my confidence up at the time when i need it the most. I mean i dont know if she realises this or not but then she is really loving that by speaking to her , u will feel as if a tidal wave of love has swept over you..baby u r so sweet & caring...!!!

thought

To Articulate means to speak clearly right...? somebody could correct me on this if i am making a mistake. blessed are the people who have good command over thier language and get thier point through. And people like me are definitely cursed who really suck at saying simple things...

one of my assignments

Assignments , Assignments and lot of assignments. Just finished one today and have two more to go for tomorrow. I had to do a 3 min video with actors & stuff and it turned out to be pretty good. All of us can interpret the script in our way and we had many weird interpretations. one of my classmates actually shot a love making scene for his video. He had a like screen in front and a couple making out at the back. Overall the film was good but then the love making scene was a bit too long, i guess the actors got carried away....!!!! These guys are like too much....

tit bits...

Every time i try not to burn my fingers while cooking it does not happen. Everytime i end up burning one finger or the other. Either it is during while stirring the vegetables while its getting cooked or opening the pressure cooker ( we cook our rice in the cooker , yet to buy an electric one ). I dont know why , probably i am too involved in the cooking or may be i might learn through practice. We usually hav one proper meal in a day and that is usually in the night. Today i was very hungry so i thought i will make somethhing good to eat, but then ended up making some thing very weird. We get readymade bhendi here mixed with tomatoes. i thought i will make that with potato, i cooked n cooked n cooked. I added lot of masalas ( nothing worked ). Finally my friends got tired and said " leave it man lets just eat it" poor guys .. i do all my experimentation on them.

By the way i played cricket this weekend. We have a cricket ground which is of course used by us indians and nobody else. It was actually match Tamilnadu & Andhra Pradesh and Tamilnadu won hurray !!!! i did not get to bat but then its ok. It was good, playing in a ground, surrounded by trees ,very refreshing. Otherwise this place gets very vert depressing....away from home..all americans around...its really difficult to manage...We even have proper official tournaments. The Indian Student 's Association is organizing a tournament next week. Will just go and see , not take part. weekend is the best time, about that in my next blog....in the library now , have taken a lap top , have to return in five mins. its going to be 2 am so gotta get going...

On Kitchen

lot of first stuff for me here. I mean there are certain things which i never did back home. One of them was entering into the kitchen. I was so lazy that i would not even enter the kitchen to take my own food. I would expect somebody to serve me food in the plate and give it to me. Another thing i did not like about the kitchen was the sink . I could not imagine how people would put thier hand inside and clean the drain when its stuck with all those food particles .I would not even keep the plate inside the sink, i would leave it outside par abhi ............ woh luxury sab khatam ho gaya. The time i am at my apartment here i spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Here everybody has to take care of the kitchen, wash your own plates, wash the utensils in which you cooked and every other aspect associated with the kitchen.

Never in my life i thought that i would cleaning the sink and stuff. I was washing the utensils the other day and i thought to myself " arre bhai kahan aake phas gaye aur dekho kya kya kaam karna pad raha hai" . One thing all of us are learning is how to manage the kitchen..

Yesterday one of my room mates cooked nice tasty chicken. It was the second time we were having chicken in a month. This is like luxury here.( i mean nobody has the time to cook chicken here..) I cooked veg fried rice , it was like ok. One of the guys got ice cream , so like after a long time we had good food.

In a day we eat only once properly. We survive on corn flakes the whole day and night its the only time when we get to eat proper food.

Mr himself

This guy is called the Mr himself as he can see only him in life. He has a feeling that all the people in the world are going to cheat him or take money and all this nonsense. he is supposed to be the eldest but behaves as the youngest. this guy is doing his bachelors in engg. He was willing to stay with us.( including him we were 5 , so all was fine as were following the rules of the indian student apartment act that 5 should stay ) So he shared the advance rent , caution deposit everything. But then this guy is not as simple as he is. He is always lost in his own world. All he thinks about is himself, his money , his time everything about his life. He does not care as to what happens to others as long as he is fine. He is very particular about money , even a single dollar or that he will not leave 50 cents. All of us had problems with him , but then we said not all of us are perfect and we decided to stay on. But then he had problems in everything and i did not like it. i said listen if u wanna stay u stay if u dont want then leave. it was getting too much for all of us to bear with him. everytime he would accuse us saying we are rich guys and we have a lot of money and stuff. problems came and he left . We told him that we would give him his share the advance rent once the 5th guy comes. he said fine. But then now the 5th person wants to leave, tho uski tho waat lag gayi. everyday he comes to us saying paise dho paise dho. he says we swallowed his money and all this.he says he doesn't get money from trees ( as if we get !@#@ ) I got really bugged today and told him "look Mr we never swallowed your cash, stop accusing us all the time. we will give u the cash once we have it. we cant give you any money now " he got really pissed and threatened to dis connect the electricty ( the electricty connection is in his name ..i mean he is so funny ) i said bhai jo karna hai woh karo. this guy is like too much. he is real funny..

the 5th guy wants to go back !!!!

All of a sudden this 5th person has assumed a lot of importance in our gang. this is for the simple reason that this guy wants to go back to india, its not even 3 days since he came and all he talks is that i want to go back. He did not have a very good journey till here. He lost his hand carry on the way. When he got it back his cash was missing ( about 700 $ ) , so he was all down. Then these guys told him that there aren't any on campus jobs , and its going to get difficult . On top of it he attended the class the very next day he came and as expected he never understood a thing. ( most of us dont understand , so i guess its ok but then he got scared ) . Now he says " chodho bhai mein india wapas chale jaatha." he says i am small guy , i am not aiming to build any houses or buy cars jus let me go. All of us tried to convince him but then for a second he is fine, then he goes back saying i wanna go. so we said ok. teek hai aap jaana chahren tho jaayie. None of us want to force him to stay back. we really cannot tell him anything. he is feeling very homesick or its the culture shock or its jus that he is very scared about the high tuition fees and stuff we dont know. so lets what happens in the next few days whether this guy goes back or not.

5th Person

The 5th person arrived yesterday. i mean my 5th room mate. we were only 4 till now but the rule in all indian student apartments is utilise each n every space in the house , adjust with how many ever you can ...all this to save money. more the people less our rental bills are. The person who came is a lucky guy, i meannot everytime a bunch of guys go to recieve a person from the the airport ..? . The normal routine is that people usually take a " bart shuttle " from the airport to reach here. nobody gets a royal welcome. Bart shuttle is nothing but a shared taxi and they charge quite a lot about 60 $. so yesterday about few guys drove down to St Louis airport ( this is 2 hours from carbondale and only closest major airport ) to pick him up. With his arrival our house was complete. we are 5 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment which is little smaller than the dda flats . One bedroom is little bigger than the other one so three of us are gonna share it and the other one by the remainig two. I am gonna be in the bigger one ( lucky me...!@#!@ ) sharing with two other hydbadi guys . There is one abcd from pakistan....hez like born in pakistan , but brought up for a quite a few years in US. He is doing his bachlelors in aviation & management . He is into a lot of rap music , cigars and stuff. But the good thing about him, he has a car. so when ever we need to buy grocery and stuff we go with him. otherwise we take the University Bus which keeps circling around the campus and the town. Its free for the students but it does go to a lot of places and it takes a lot of time...

now coming back to the 5th room mate. we dumped his luggage in his room. Heated the food from the fridge , served it with a glass of pepsi and some mango juice all part of the first few days luxury that he would get . he was pretty happy good tasty food ( made by me..oh thank you very much ....cooking is ..u know quite easy for all of us ) . he finished his dinner ,left his plate and walked away to the washroom to wash his hands. We called him back and said " dekho bhai yeh khana juice yeh sab hum log karengee,lekin boss u need to wash your plate " i mean its good for him that he gets into the routine as early as possible. poor guy was little embarresed but then what do we do all of us washed the plates after we came. Its like a simple rule here in all the student apartments. " jo khaye wohi wash karen"

The journey to the destination is always the best....

Finally all the hype is over and i am settling down to normalcy in this place. I still dont have proper access to the internet( none of my room-mates have desktops or laptops at home ) so i guess it will take time for me to get into serious blogging. To start with the stop over at frankfurt was very good. That was my first step on foriegn soil and i was little excited , i liked the place. Every 30 secs there was a landing or take off. It was a such a huge airport with so many gates. It was also the first time i encountered walk ways ...so it was nice. my flight to frankfurt was an eight hour flight . I went hungry for the most of the time as they served very little food and i hadn't eaten much at home before leaving. It was a huge flight like a big hall. probably double the size of our local domestic flights. Till today i feel that my journey was the best thing. This place is really quite depressing , probably because missing i am missing india, chennai my home my comp my bike my friends most importantly my cell phone ..god i miss all these so much...i am constantly reminded of all this. Everyday i ask myself " kahan se kahan aa gaye bhai .... aage kya karna hai.." its such a good life back home with friends home food no restrictions...anywyaz cant help now... taken the plunge so better not crib about it...

..thoughts...

i was thinking about this last night before going to sleep. I realised that its only when i hit the bed that thoughts start flowing into my mind. My english is like perfect , everything looks so organized. But why is that..? I sit in front of the comp till 2 in the nights but nothing flows, but the time i hit the bed thoughts pour out like mad. Probably today night i should simply get up switch on the comp and start writing them. I dont know why this happens , i try to sleep but dont a wink of sleep . I keep looking at the ceiling as if i am out on star lit sky. This is the time i realise all the things which i should have done or the some work which did not go the way i wanted them too. This is the time u realise how lonely u r in this whole world. Nobody to understand you or what you say, everybody accusing for something or the other, u r like really tired of everything in life. two drops of tears flow out , one from each eye both fall down at the same speed. Its a situation where u take stock of ur life. zindagi kahan aa gayi hai types abhi kya karna hai aage.

yeh sab thoughts aathe hie nahin if u would have slept the moment u hit the bed. But getting a peaceful sleep has become so much rare these days. With all the tension in your head n thoughts like ki kya hoga kab hoga kaise hoga...it really gets difficult for a person to sleep.

ok my thoughts have stopped flowing right now probably i will have to wait for the time i go to sleep ...oh how much i long for that peaceful sleep.....

blog porn..????

hey all i was jus going through my blog site for any comments, generally if at all anybody had the patience to jus go through what i had written. there was this option on top right hand corner and it said next blog..i jus clicked and what do i see.....a blog which is nothing but a porn site..it has links to all the porn stuff u can find on the web. i was like shocked...when i clicked the next blog i expected some intresting reading stuff and not intresting pics..!!!! anyways so all u people be little careful when u click on that option u never know whats coming up....

nothing for today

me really not in a mood to write anything no blogs for today. But i must say one thing i have never been hooked to diaries or never written anything. I have always shared my experiences with people directly n most of the time its on phone. But now i can express my views vent out my frustration here, earlier times i used to throw things to take it out but then this is a better way i guess. god help all of us..

phew.....!!! not able to open my mouth

hey vaibhav appreciate what you have said man. i totaly agree that we have certain pre concieved notions about people . I agree to the view that how we would react to the person wearing the dhoti at the signal. well thats a topic that can be debated over n over again. I want to talk about views. Who decides whether the view i have is correct or not. By the time i explain my view to people around me i am like totally done. I am not able to figure whether we need to talk loudly to put forth our views to people or how do i do it. Everybody in this world wants to put forth thier views and they want it make it sound as if thats correct.....

actually i feel like a person with a plaster around my mouth and jus about little space is left. So most of which i like to say is like blocked and filtered and only few things come out. But then i try make pacify myself saying that this is part of my personality and i have been designed to be like this. If i could be more articulate in expressing my views then i would have not beeen who i am now...i guess God has made us all in a package take it or leave it types....its probably a combo deal....cant help each of us are probably different combos and we come with different combinations with all the positives and negatives.......

its about us

I am jus trying to write some thing , basically trying to focus myself

I mean how easy its for us to distinguish people and pass comments saying that they are so dumb and they are not part of the "intellectual gang". What defines a person as an Intellectual and who defines them. Who has coined these rules ?? I really get upset when people dont respect others . I mean none of us know everything in this world . We can't be perfect individuals. What ever the other person i am sure we will not know. Lets try n respect the other person for what ever he is . He must be gifted with something which we cannot do . Just because i dont think the same way as u think it does not make me small or inferior. its my view it may be very childish and very very basic but then its not wrong . Jus because our views differ i dont become inferior. I guess day by day all of us are losing the concept of respecting the other person for what ever he is. Our succes our education has got into our heads and we start treating people with dis respect. I jus want to ask people who the hell are they...Have they taken the responsibilty of the world or are they the moral authority to decide on whats wrong and whats not .

I think the most important thing is that one must be strong from inside and not outside. I guess your outer personality will help you but that would be only for a few days but later its only your inner side that is going to count. But sadly all of us have started respecting people who makes the most noise. all the silent ones are properly crushed. I mean jus because i dont refute what the other person is saying that person does not become right and i dont become right.Sadly people assume like that ...... and i really feel sad for them...

confused

I am jus so confused. I have so many things running in my mind and i really dont know what to write right now. Its just that i am always searching for answers to certain questions which keep running in my mind all the time. I am right now in a reliance web world and i can keep my eyes off from the screen of the person sitting in front of me. I dont know why i always had the penchant for observing people. observing them in close quarters trying to understand what thier psyche is. the person sitting in front is watching some photos. some of them happen to be porn. i was thinking whether he really wants to watch porn or jus that these pics came up. I am jus observing his behaviour he is so stiff, acting as if he is doing some important work and in between also lifting his head checking for people coming his way.... he is so scared....

this blog is more like my diary

its just been a day since i have started this blog and i am so excited to write. i dedicate this excitement and encouragement to that one person in my life who is very special to me. I am like a person who just needs a small spark and i can do anything. i jus need constant encoragement n understanding and thats it. I really want to write lots, i dont know the reason why , probably its because i have never really spoken my mind really aloud. Its always been what the other person says or likes. i really dont mind making the other person happy because it gives me happiness. If i do something and she likes it then nothing like it , i would be really happy.
As a person i am really scared to write or speak freely because i am scared as to how the other person would react . I am really scared even now because i dont know how people are going to react reading my blog, r they going to think wht is this guy writing, whats he blabbering and all this. Anyway i have started this writing process and i hope to take it really forward.

i know everything

i dont why this happens to me. everytime i think the worst is over something better comes up. i fully well understand that life cannot be a bed of roses but there should be an end an answer to all the questions i have. why is that people always have to doubt my credentials. everytime i try not to hurt anybody i end up hurting them even more. i jus want to tell everybody please dont mistake me , i am not intending to hurt u but its time u understand me. pleasetry n believe me. i might look playful , or not serious but belive me i am very serious. when its time to get serious i get very serious.

everybody has thier own point of view to things , thats the best part about people. and all of them are correct. there is no right no wrong but only a different view. if this is going to like this then how are we to live. if everybody wants to put thier opinion through then who is going to adjust. Everybody wants thier thing to go forward , its only about them is it ..what about the people like us..are we going to get crushed everytime because u want to do certain things ..?

speaking my mind

jus started into this ..... the main problem with me is that i have so much to say but i end up saying so little. half the time i am not able to speak my mind , thats the biggest problem i am facing in my life right now. i hope i can at least make myself heard in this world....